Penny

If I’m honest I feel too tired to write properly tonight.

Today was Mother’s Day and I was really hoping to carve out a bit of “me time” today so that I could recharge my batteries a bit for the week ahead. No such luck. I did get a gorgeously cute card from my youngest though, a brilliant picture my eldest made at Brownies and some yummy chocolates from my son, plus a letter thanking me for tidying his bedroom! The important stuff.

My kids seem to think that I can seamlessly step into their teachers’ shoes at 9am tomorrow. Somehow I’m going to wake an expect in both Key Stage 1 and Key Stage 2 (Years 2 and 5, if you’re interested) and that in-between all the other million and one things I have to do running a house of 5 people I will have designed a whole singing and dancing curriculum that will engage them from 9am to 3.15pm. I fear they’re going to be disappointed.

In the one hour today that I got between breaking up fights and cooking meals (errr – isn’t today the ONE day off the year when I’m not supposed to be doing that?) I managed to knock up a very rough timetable for tomorrow. I scoured the various resources that are being shared madly on both class’ WhatsApp groups and printed loads of worksheets from Twinkl and various other sites. I designed a worksheet on bridge design as my son keeps telling me that he is desperate to learn about this and I made a quick list of educational TV programmes that we might be able to base some of our learning on over the next couple of weeks at least.

I know the school don’t expect me to suddenly magic up a PGCE and an intimate knowledge of the National Curriculum, but my kids do. And to be honest I’m more scared of letting them down than their teachers.

I had so many other things I wanted to achieve though today and seem to have failed at all of them. Knowing we’re going to be at home and needing some fresh air I hoped to get the lawn cut. No chance. There were things I wanted out of the loft to keep the toddler amused whilst I deal with the older two tomorrow. They’re still in the loft. There’s a pile of ironing that needs doing and in just a weekend my laundry basket is overwhelmed again. The kids also seem to be eating me out of house and home already. Ideally I’d find the time to do some baking as well so that I could top up the snack supplies that way, but time is the thing I’m lacking right now.

I also wanted to get the desk we have assembled and in my son’s room before tomorrow, but we can’t find all the bolts to put it together. That means he’s going to have to work at the kitchen table instead, which is where I was planning to squeeze in a bit of work myself. Ho hum.

Oh, and to top it all off, tomorrow is the day that Royal Mail increase all their prices. So with my work hat on I have 200 listings on eBay that I need to go through and alter the P&P charges on before midnight. Because, you know I’m just sat here at 10pm on a Sunday evening twiddling my thumbs and wondering what to do to fill an evening.

Seriously though – I need to take a bit of down time right now, or else I fear burnout pretty soon.

There were a few nice bits of today. I managed our first family FaceTime session with my mum, sister, brother in law and nephew to celebrate mothers day. I’m not sure we’re technically savvy enough to run a family pub quiz online yet, but at least we got to talk to each other. It was also nice to see that my mum’s local pub are offering to deliver meals to people in her village. 12 weeks is a long time for her to be sat at home so at least she can enjoy a meal cooked by someone else every so often.

There is also one thing that I’m looking forward to tomorrow. The BBC have brought forward their launch of a new adaptation of Enid Blyton’s Malory Towers. It’s described as Downton for kids and to be honest, having seen the trailer I can’t wait. I just need to persuade the nine year old to watch it with me, rather than rushing ahead and bingeing it all straight away on her table!

Today was calm and peaceful. I didn’t expect it to be, especially with it being the first day of the eldest two kids being at home after their schools’ sudden closure, but it really was. And I feel so much calmer myself as a result.

We’ve followed the advice and socially distanced all day. We had some parcels to take to the Post Office, so we all headed out this morning on foot and scooter and make the trip to our closest one. Ot’s located inside a Tesco store on a parade of shops, so I stayed outside with the kids – positioned away from where other people were coming and going – and just my husband went in. There was a queue to be served, but whilst he was there he managed to pick up a box of eggs in the Tesco part of the store and also a few sweet treats. A Cream Egg has honestly never tasted so good.

On our walk we kept our distance from other people and made the most of a gorgeously sunny day – despite a bit of a cold wind. The local butchers had a queue out of the door and the local chemist shop was serving everyone from a table placed across the shop doorway – so that only the staff themselves went into the shop. A sensible precaution. It’s all very weird feeling though when just a couple of weeks ago we were able to buy most things without any problems at all and yet now we get excited about finding a shop with eggs in it.

I felt very proud of the kids though. The route we took today took us right past the park where they usually go to the playground, but they both understood that this wasn’t an option today. I’m so hoping that walks can continue to be a thing, but that’s all going to depend on whether or not the rest of the population follow the social distancing instructions and if we don’t have to go into a lockdown like other countries have.

Back at home we’ve all managed to keep ourselves busy all day. It’s been perfect weather for clothes drying outside so two loads of laundry are all complete without having to turn the tumble drier on at all. My daughter spent some time in the back garden practicing her football skills, skipping and playing on the trampoline. Thank goodness we’re no longer in the tiny flat without a garden that we only moved out of a couple of years ago!

My son has spent a fair amount of time building Lego, but at one point he burst into the kitchen and announced that he was going to do some school work! I’d told both of them that I wasn’t going to make them do anything school related until Monday, but off his own back he sat down and did a comprehension exercise from one of the Key Stage 1 workbooks that his school sent home with him yesterday.  The final question flummoxed me and his elder sister though. The passage of text was about Amy Johnson and then at the end it simply asked. Is this fiction or non-fiction? How can you tell? Errrr. How can you tell? That question had be foxed somewhat! I might have to email his teacher next week.

Normally on a weekend dinner ends up feeling all rushed. We’ve been out somewhere and upon returning there’s a bit of a panic to get dinner on the table before someone’s hunger makes them snap. It was quite a contrast today to have what felt like all the time in the world to get it cooked and served up. I even got offers of help in the kitchen. Almost unheard of without some prompting.

In addition to all that the kids have watched a film on Netflix, I’ve managed to clear out a box of paperwork that I’ve been meaning to do for about a year, computer games have been played and old toys rediscovered. My eldest has done a spot of computer programming from a book on Scratch that she found in her bedroom and also started working through the projects in an electronics kit she got a couple of Christmases ago.

I’m not expecting all days to be as calm as today, but it would be nice to think that there might be some calm days amidst all the craziness to come.

There was so much that I planned to do today. None of it happened. I’ve literally only been able to tick one thing off my to do list and that was just the recurring one to tell me to do a load of laundry so no one runs out of clean underwear!

I’ve spent over three hours of today in the car, but then again that can be quite typical for me. My kids’ school is 30 minutes away (that’s what happens when you get divorced and can’t afford to stay living in the same place) so the morning and afternoon school runs make up two hours of that.

The extra trip was because my son’s school was short of staff and being a governor there means that I have a DBS clearance, so was able to stand in for one of the MSAs (Midday Supervisory Assistants – or “dinner ladies” in old terminology!) that are currently at home either self-isolating or social-distancing. There were three governors in the lunch hall and on the playground today. Tomorrow we’re expecting four or five of us helping out. I got the outdoor duty and actually I rather enjoyed being forced to spend an hour outside with the drizzly rain hitting my face. I suppose this whole scenario makes you focus a bit on what things in life you don’t really appreciate until you realise that they might be taken away from you.

When I wasn’t at school or driving between school and home I managed to fit in a quick supermarket trip looking for nappies. We’re struggling to find any size 5 one for our daughter. Everywhere is sold out. We’ve even got neighbours on our new WhatsApp group looking for us. These are neighbours whose names I didn’t even know a week ago and now they’re trying to help us buy nappies. This is all so weird.

One thing I’m glad I’ve done is make that contact with all our neighbours. I used a template I found online to put notes through all their doors. It felt a strange thing to do and I was a bit nervous that no one would respond, but we’ve now got about 10 of us on WhatsApp and I’ve spoken to four others on the telephone (notably they all called me from a landline!) that are very grateful of the contact. Two of them live alone and don’t know how they are going to get food if they can’t go out to the shops. One of them is also registered disabled ad said he has no support. I feel awful thinking that they could have had no one to help them. It’s also nice thinking that we have a bit of back up should we need it at any point over the next few months. That’s a bit of a relief.

My trip to the supermarket didn’t bring any nappies. Nor did I find much else. No milk. No fresh meat. No biscuits. So much for limiting what people buy so everyone can buy something. This was just at 2pm. What about people who are at work all day and can only get there in the evening?

Today has not all been doom and gloom though. I’ve had some lovely chats with neighbours, my knitting group, fellow school governors and other friends online. Even some old work colleagues that I hadn’t spoken to in years. Funny what a situation like this makes people do.

One of my dear knitting group has also been incredibly generous by giving my kids an xbox 360 that her family no longer needed. They’d ordered a new Playstation 4 to help them through the isolation period so she kindly offered their old console to my kids. Complete with a pile of games and various other controllers, guitars and even a drum kit! It was like Christmas had come early. My husband went over to pick it up and is connecting it up to our TV as I type.

I had planned to make a start on preparation for our period of home education today, but that’s one of the tasks that fell off the end of my to do list. My son’s school have published various blog posts about how parents can support their children’s learning at home and there are links a plenty for online resources. My daughter’s school has also sent home various suggestions and I’m expecting some workbooks to be coming home with her tomorrow. More work is to be published online over the coming weeks. I’ve got some ideas in my head already for things I can do with them both, but I need to actually write some of them down before I forget. There are also so many links that have been shared with me, but again I need the time to sort through them all and work out which are most worth doing and when to deploy them on the kids.

The thing about school closing that has hit me hardest is possibly the realisation that tomorrow is probably my son’s last ever day at his Infant School. I’m just mentally not ready. I get a lump in my throat just typing those words. It’s mot supposed to happen so soon. He’s supposed to have another term and a bit before I’m attending a leavers’ assembly and all that sort of thing. Now none of it may happen. I don’t think he’s fully realised yet, but I certainly have. And I don’t like the feeling at all.

I totally understand the move to shut schools. And the one to keep them open for vulnerable children and those whose parents are key workers. But the lack of information about it all, and the practicalities of everyone (teachers, head teachers, parents and the public in general) finding out at the same time means there are so many questions that haven’t been answered yet. Over 24 hours on from the announcement and they haven’t even managed to publish a list of what the definition of a key worker is. How on earth are schools supposed to be ready to open on Monday when they don’t even know which children to expect through the gate? Let alone how many.

The final bit of today that made me smile was when we got home from the school run I realised I needed to pop to the post box with something. The kids asked if they could bring their scooters and amazingly once we got to the post box they asked if we could turn it into a scoot around the local streets. They had a blast wizzing down hills and chasing each other. Simple pleasures, but ones which I fear they may have to miss out on for a while. Seeing how much they enjoyed it though made me resolve to get out every single day that we can. Even just scooting around local streets shouldn’t be taken for granted any more.

It’s been such a busy day that I haven’t seen as much of the news as I have on previous days. Maybe that’s a good thing. The bits I have caught have only made me realise just how big and bad everything is. The Bank of England have cut interest rates yet again. Down to just 0.1%. If that’s not a sign of the effect on the economy then I don’t know what is. If our high streets weren’t struggling enough before this, things are even worse now. The impact on so many other industries is also huge. Entertainment, hospitality, travel. The supermarkets are doing OK with everyone panic buying. I’ve seen three of them advertising for new staff in the last 24 hours. Good news, but not enough to make up for all the losses that I keep hearing about. Everything is going to look so different when this is all over.

For now though I need to go and distract myself with something before bed. We’ve spotted that every series of Spooks seems to have suddenly appeared on iPlayer. Time to go and focus on imaginary terrorists and MI5 rather than the real life drama happening all around us.

Today’s the day. Not just the day that I started this diary, but the day that PM Boris Johnson made the announcement that will most change my day to day life for  the next few months. From Monday the schools will be shut and I’ll have to educate my eldest two children at home. Whilst also running the home and looking after my 16 month old. And trying to be self employed too. I think my head is about to explode with what all this really means.

For starters, I simply don’t know quite how it is all going to be possible. My house already feels like a bit of a tip as I try to juggle everything. I have three kids. Life is busy. Just getting the laundry done, food bought, meals on the table and everyone in the right place at the right time requires military style planning. Yes, this whole situation does remove all their extra-curricular activities, but it also means that I’ll never get a break.

And where do I even start with what I’m supposed to teach them? I find my daughter’s English grammar homework hard enough as it is. Often I have to send her back to school with questions for her teacher. I’m hoping her teacher is going to be available for answering questions still. And what about all the things I know nothing about? I’ve been frantically saving things I’ve seen on Facebook over the last few days full of suggestions for educational activities, but I’m not sure when I’m supposed to find the time to research them all first. My son was asking me at bedtime what lessons he was going to have on Monday. He looked most confused when I said I didn’t have a clue yet!

And what about if we go into full lockdown like other countries have? How on earth do I keep the eldest two kids from killing each other if we’re stuck at home all day, every day. It’s not even like the Easter holidays are going to be much different. Pretty much everywhere except the countryside is closed at the moment (and understandably so from an infection point of view) but it does rather limit options for entertaining the kids outside the house. There’s plenty of gorgeous countryside around us here in the Chilterns, but not all fully accessible when you have a 16 month old with you too.

And speaking of the 16 month old, quite how I am going to juggle all this with her too is another unknown, especially as it looks like her dad is still going to be going out to work during all this. Let alone the house itself. I’ve spent most of the last week trying to find food in supermarkets with limited success. This morning I found one that actually had some fresh fruit and veg, but the empty shelves in other parts of the supermarket made it look like people are planning for the apocalypse. There was no loo roll, soap, breakfast cereal, frozen veg or biscuits to be had in my local Sainsburys. My husband called in early whilst I was still on the school run and managed to pick up some nappies, but I genuinely fear we will run out of stuff over the next few months. As a parent I normally have a bit of a stockpile of tins incase child illness stops me shopping, but is this enough? I refuse to buy things in the quantities others have, but I’m also worried that I don’t have enough. There are five of us to feed and my son is a fussy eater. I’ve often wondered how children like him coped during wartime rationing. I now feel I may soon find out firsthand.

I’m not sure I can actually capture all the questions and concerns in my head right now. There are simply too many. For tonight though my priority has to be trying to stay on top of day to day life, making the most of them being at school for the next two days, and planning what to do on Monday when I would normally hand them over to their teachers. And all the time making sure the toddler doesn’t keep trying to climb on the dining table (today’s new trick!) and that everyone keeps washing their hands.

My husband and I gave up alcohol a couple of years ago (well 99% of the time for me). I wonder if this might be what drives us back to it?  I’ve certainly already polished off my emergency chocolate supplies.