I’m alone in the house. Totally alone. There isn’t even someone upstairs having a nap, or playing in a bedroom. The oldest two are on holiday with their dad and the youngest member of the family has just been taken out by her dad so I can have a couple of hours peace and quiet to get some work done. I genuinely don’t remember when I last had a couple of hours completely to myself to concentrate on just one thing.
Our life (which I love immensely) is crazy. Knowing exactly how many children are staying here on any one night requires military level planning. Add into the mix not always knowing where my husband is going to be working from one day to another, an eight month old baby, a house to run and being self employed and you can see why most days of the week I don’t feel like I stop from the moment a child wakes me until the point where I collapse into bed shattered.
I love our crazy busy life, but I cannot deny that I do miss having a bit of downtime. A bit of peace and quiet where I can just sit on the sofa, relax fully and not be constantly thinking about the mess in the kitchen that needs sorting, the pile of laundry that I’ll need to put away (or at least move!) before I can get into bed, and the list of things that I have to remember the following day. There’s that picture doing the rounds on the internet where it says something along the lines of “my brain is like an internet browser, 14 tabs open and no one knows where the music is coming from”. That’s me. Well actually it’s not. There are about 50 tabs open in Safari on my laptop right now and a similar number in my head!
This morning though, to give the husband time to work in peace, I took Tube Stop Baby out and we headed to our nearest National Trust place for a walk and to blow away the cobwebs. It felt so good to be outside and to have time and space to let my mind wander a bit. I possibly let it wander a little too much though as I failed to notice the approaching storm clouds which meant that I actually ended up so soaking wet that by the time I returned to the car I could wring out the skirt part of my dress (much to the amusement of the elderly couple who had just pulled up next to me in the car park) and when I got home I had to have a complete change of clothes.
Despite the rain, it was actually exactly what I needed. The cobwebs weren’t just blown away, but totally washed away! That bit of time space and reconnecting with nature made me realise that I need to organise myself so much better to get the most out of this crazy life. I need to really time box things and try to concentrate on just one thing at once. Walking and having time to think is fine, but I need to not be spreading myself quite so thinly.
Right now I’m sat in the garden with my laptop and a mug of tea. That way I can ignore the mess inside the house and just concentrate on my work to do list and the mountain of emails that need answering. I’ve set the alarm on my phone so that in an hour’s time I will pop in (possibly make another cuppa) and get the washing out of the machine and have a five minute breather from work whilst I hang it on the line. In another hour Bonn and TSB are due home and I hope to then put down my laptop for a bit and spend some quality time with the two of them before then dedicating a bit of time this evening to some of the household jobs that need doing. One thing at a time. That’s what I need to do. Time to shut all those browser tabs and focus just on the job in hand. Although the next door neighbour just starting to cut his grass wasn’t really in the plan!